H. Upmann: Vintage Cameroon (Churchill)

"I have long believed that any man interested in either the mystic or the romantic aspects of  life must sooner or later define his attitude concerning Spain".  That is James Michener's marvelous opening sentence in Iberia.  Using boldacious literary liberty, I will postulate that "I now believe that any man interested in the spendid delightment of a cigar, must sooner or later enjoy one in the advent of a hurricane breeze". 

A H. Upmann vintage cameroon, churchill length accompanied me amid wind squalls and intermittent rain and falling palm tree fronds.  You should all be as lucky.  Retailing at $6.98, the Upmann is adorned with a cedar sleeve that gives it a nice touch that raises its expectations.  First, the cigar was lit with an Alec Bradley "The Burner" Table Top Cigar Lighter that was recently purchased at Stogies World Class Cigar in Houston.  If you are lucky enough to be in Houston and you are a cigar freak, you must go to Stogies and spend a few minutes talking cigars with Jorge "don't call me George".  His shop is top notch and he is a bonafide cigar expert. And HE BUILT his business.

The Upmann vintage cameroon cigar construction is solid with no identifiable weakness. It was firm but not so firm that makes you feel like you have a rusty steel rod in your mouth. The burn was even throughout -- there was no need to re-light at any point. The ashes were gray, which doesn't mean much except that I tend to favor the lighter, almost white ashes. Makes the smoke appear cleaner. The drag was excellent. Up until the very end, each drag produced a mouth full of smoke that, in turn, yielded a bountiful puff that was blown away rapidly by the strong winds.

The cigar taste was, for the most part, rich and somewhat complex. This is not a bland cigar nor is it the "only smoke after eating a porterhouse steak" variety. That said, the taste was uneven, and can be best described by three one-third segments.  The first third was a decent lead-in, a bit oaky. The second third was the most rewarding part of the stick.  This portion was smooth, a bit on the sweet side, fantastic drag, crisp and nutty. I was hoping that the cigar would burn forever. The last third, ahhh, the last third, was pretty soily and slightly harsh and the drag required more effort than I cared to exert.

Come to think of it, the H. Upmann vinatge cameroon reminded me of a movie I had seen the day before -- The Appaloosa, starring Marlon Brando. The first third was just okay, the second-third was a treat, and the last third was a dud by comparison. Worst part of the movie was John Saxon's cheesy mexican accent (jew weel be sori, you patheteec gringO)

CS Rating ((3 + 4 + 2)/3) = 3.0

El Alcalde

ROCKY PATEL HAS LOST THE EDGE

After spending a lot of money on RP cigars, I concluded that they were one of the most overrated on the planet. Not that they all sucked, mind you, just that you get a lot less than you paid for. When I discussed this with my friends, they generally agreed but invariably would say "except for The Edge," and I agreed. No more.

First the good news. This is a solid cigar with no soft spots. It has a decent draw and burns evenly, just needing a couple of minor touch-ups. It is sweet and toasty and I would not turn one down in a pinch.

But this is the Saloon and we can't pull punches. The above description lasted only through the first half of the stick, after which it became bitter and harsh, causing it to quickly become expensive mulch in my garden.

The new Edge is definitely not as good as the original Edge, which had a sweet, spicy, and complex flavor. The new Edge is one dimensional and lacks substance. It's supposed to be a Corojo, but I suspect that this is like everybody in Oklahoma claiming to be American Indian.

I think that the Rock has quietly reblended the Edge. He denies this when asked, of course, heming and hawing something about excessive rain, the weather, blah, blah, blah, and then suggesting that you try the Decade(made for him by the great AJ Fernandez). I'm not buying it anymore. 

The new Edge costs six bucks, not four like old Edge and I don't believe we've had 50% inflation in the meantime. For less than 6 bucks I can enjoy a Padron 2000, a Man O' War, Reloba, or Padilla 1948. Heck, for 2 bucks I can have a Gran Habano Vintage 2002 which beats the heck out of the Edge. 

My problem might be that I've been smoking the Pinar Del Rio Seleccion for the last three days, which retails for the same price, and has all of the flavor and complexity that the Edge doesn't.

The inside of the label says "beware of imitations--original Edge." I say that teller is the feller. Mamey

CS Rating 2.5

COHIBA BEHIKE CIGAR AFICIONADO REVIEW

The first draw delivers a complex blend of butter-leather creme brulee sweetness to the front of the palate, merengue key lime pie tartness to the middle palate, and notes of table-cooked bananas foster to the back of the palate. However, the flavors do not sit on the palate, instead choosing to circle it in a counter-clockwise dub step, yet never mixing, and recur in 18 second intervals. The rolling waves of smoke then exit the nose slowly and with precision, like Horn Elementary School students during a fire drill. This dark long lonsdale, from tobacco grown on the east side of Pinar Del Rio, behind the farm that used to be owned by the family of Manny Lopez, comes from seventh generation corojo seeds previously smuggled to Spanish Honduras in a rich Corinthian leather diplomatic pouch. 

The grandchildren of the seeds returned to Cuba after two years of wild sex in the highlands between Santa Rosa de Copan and Santa Barbara next to Lucy Mejia's beauty salon in search for jineteras at the Hotel Nacional in Havana. At the Nacional, they loitered and talked leather with the many Gallegos, Romans, and chicken pluckers from Little Rock before boarding the roof of a Camello bus for Pinar Del Rio, enabling them to enjoy five hours of sultry tropical weather. The aroma emanating from this oily, pock-marked maduro has intonations of organically processed sauteed asparagus, young roast suckling pig cooked to leathery perfection in a Cuban "Caja China" lined with virgin banana plants (grown in the farm previously owned by the family of the said Manny Lopez), with undertones of whole ripe mangoes picked from the side of the road at the El Yunque National Park in Puerto Rico, which is unfortunately not located in Cuba because of the American embargo. 

This supple, leathery cigar is soft to the touch, especially around the savory head, which is surprisingly large, meaty, good-looking, offering just the right amount of resistance to the draw. It is rolled to perfection by virgins handpicked by El Comandante himself from J.C. Penney in Detroit, wearing only supple leather bridles. Summary of the Cohiba Behike: A luscious leathery leather lonsdale. 

  Mamey