Cuban Cohiba Siglo 5 - Sound the Trumpets!

This cigar has almost ruined me.  It is 99% perfect!  It has a perfect earthy taste, perfect burn, stays lit and has a great but not a perfect draw (the Gurkha Evil draw is better).   The cigar lasts about an hour and a half.  There is no after taste, so much so that it seems you can smoke one all day.  The cigar almost ruined me because any time I go to smoke a different cigar I know it won't measure up.  Consequently, my small humidor has become almost empty. I have to thank my friend who has  graciously shared several of these masterpieces with me. I will note that the first one I had was improperly rolled and had no drag, so that communist work ethic can rear its ugly head.

CS Rating 5.0

Diamond E 

The Spittoon

Introducing "The Spittoon", a free-form and episodic addition to the increasingly popular and expert Cigar Saloon reviews. The Spittoon, true to its name, is a device to just "spit it out". 

To get it going, here's a ranking of seven cigars I recently smoked. All were good and delicious to the very end. Although an official Cigar Saloon rating requires a distinct review, I can suggest that all of the following are  CS 3.0 or better:

1.  Padilla Series '68
2.  A. Fuente Gran Reserva
3.  La Aurora Rothchild
4.  Morro Castle
5.  Oliveros 1927
6.  EP Carrillo Predilectos Maduros
7.  Gurkha Legend

El Alcalde

My Echo, My Shadow, and My Maduro

My Cigar Saloon review of the PDR 1878 Cubano Especial - Capa Natural (October 22, 2012) created a bit of a ruckus.  My CS rating was a 4.5 with a lean toward 5.0. At the time, the hesitancy away from the exalted 5.0 was caused by my comment that perhaps a maduro wrapper would be even better (and then what?, a 5.5?). To recap:

The Oil Baron, a featured contributor to this august Blog, fired a manly, square-shouldered fussilage and blasted what he thought was my overblown rating ("maybe a 3.5") and even personalized it by revealing that he was "personally offended" by the rating. (kinda like presidential debate #2 when O was personally offended by any comment that challenged his administration's up-front, transparent handling of the Libya murders). 

Then there is stealthy, sneaky, and snakey Hasuki. Oh yeah, Hasuki hinted, purred, coaxed about whether the oscuro may or may not be better than the natural. Then Hasnooki got cute by exposing my ignorance of the PDR line -- they do have a Capa Madura AND a Capa Oscura.  Well, as it turns out, Hasuki was dead-on with his (or her) comments, notwithstanding the sniping from the flanks. So, true to Cigar Saloon ethos, I decided to compare the three and provide objective results.

Night 1, Capa Natural (white ring): As stated in the October 22nd post, this is a truly wonderful cigar. However, my rating if it will be adjusted downward primarily because, unlike last time, the cigar did not have that sweet creamy flavor to it. Perhaps smoking it in the evening rather than earlier in the day makes a difference. Or perhaps it was that the October 22nd rating was based on having smoked the Capa Natural as a follow-up to a harsher cigar. 

Night 2, Capa Oscura (red ring): The Capa Oscura has an oily wrapper and immediately you grasp that this will be a spicier and more complex cigar than the Natural. The first third gives off a hint of cocoa. The second-third is even better with the retention of the chocolate and the introduction of a nutty flavor. The last third becomes a tad blander but still good. The cigar burns slow and drags relatively well. Once thing for sure, the Capa Oscura aroma is much more predominant than the Natural's. 

Night 3, Capa Madura (black ring): This cigar is outstanding. To the qualities of the Capa Oscura, add the extra punch from the ligero right cross and a, how can I phrase it?, a deepness to the cigar. I was concerned at first because I messed up the v-cut and had to do some mending to fix things up. I was afraid that my clumsiness would ruin this, the last of the triumphant trio of PDR 1878's. But, alas, it ruined nothing. The Capa Madura has a very dark, oily and a handsome Brazilian wrapper. The burn was even and unending, the ashes could have lingered forever. The drag was almost perfect and the puffing was full clouds of smoke. The flavor was even better than the Oscura because of the additional chocolate hint and an oaky feel to it. It was sad to see this cigar come to its conclusion.

All cigars retailed for about $7

CS Ratings:

Capa Natural:   3.5 (The Oil Baron's forceful counterpoint is upheld)
Capa Oscura:   4.0 
Capa Madura:  4.5 

Thanks, Hasuki, you are a slinky character that would probably get your ass kicked in the Saloon if you persist with your underhanded tactics, but you did open my eyes to a wonderful cigar comparison.

El Alcalde

FISCAL CLIFF OR GRAYCLIFF? THE STRANGE CASE OF THE FRANKENSTOGIE

The name of this stogie is, appropriately enough, the Graycliff 1666 Pirate Maduro. This is a torpedo that is named after the Graycliff Hotel in the Bahamas whose walls were allegedly erected in 1666. It does have a Mexican Jaltepec Maduro wrapper. And it is a pirate. Not in the romantic or literary sense, mind you, but in the very real sense that buying it deprives you of your hard-earnd money with nothing to show in return.

While it  allegedly contains tobacco from 5 other countries(which I won't name for the sake of their tobacco reputations), this is not a good thing in this case, so I've christened it the FRANKENSTOGIE . Think about what a batch of Turkish coffee might taste like if you also had to drink it, along with the grinds, after a week in the Death Valley sun.  But, hey, if you're into the taste of aged palm fronds wrapped in a maduro wrapper with a grainy texture, whatever gets you through the night is all right!

It does have a couple of good points--good drag and an acceptable, self-correcting burn, but that's the short list.  It starts to burn hot about halfway through.  I can't tell you about the finish, because I couldn't finish it. I almost threw it in my mulch pile, but I already had one of the reblended RP Edges in there and thought the combination of these two stiffs could be hazardous to my flowers. Instead, I put it to good use in the eradication of fire ants. Stay tuned on that.

The price is all over the board--from $6 on the internet all the way to $15-$20 retail. And goodness knows what these guys charge novice cigar smokers at their resort hotel! I like to offer alternatives, so if you're a maduro whore, try the San Lotano Maduro, PDR Maduros, Fuente Maduros, or the Padron regular line instead--any of the maduros will do. You'll not only save yourself some money, but also be able to experience what a terrific classic maduro tastes like. Mamey

CS Rating-2.0

Acid Kuba Kuba : The Black Hole of Cigars

In effort to promote cigar diversity in my humidor, I decided to go out on a limb and buy brands I have never tried before. I know now why no one has ever recommended an Acid before.

At first glance the cigar looks like a normal cigar, except for the lame shiny metallic blue band it wore. Can't judge a book by it's cover, unless it says Acid.

Normally after I cut a cigar I take one drag through it unlit, to see what flavors I can pick up right off the bat. The second the cigar hit my lips I immediately had this disgusting syrupy sensation that seemed to jump off the cigar and spread in my mouth. The Acid line are all "flavored" cigars, and thus are treated with some sort of food tasting chemical. Though I heard from some sources this same formula was first developed as a chemical weapon for trench warfare in WWI.

Though I immediately had the urge to vomit I decided to stick it through. After the light, I made it maybe 4 puffs more before I couldn't take it anymore. This syrupy flavoring was stuck all over my mouth, teeth, tounge, lips, and gums. I'm confident the next time I see my dentist, he will comment on it. The cigar is that awful.

After the cigar, I needed some way to boost my spirits. After washing my mouth out thoroughly I grabbed a My Father Reloba "Mexican" to try. And while I was excited to try what I knew would be a good cigar, my excitement was immediately demolished by the fact that the syrup was still in my mouth even after having washed my mouth out. NOT ONLY did this cigar suck, but it RUINED my ability to enjoy other good cigars.

CS Score: NEGATIVE F***ING INFINITY

The Oil Baron