Hoyo de Monterrey - Hoyo de Tradicion

Thought that a review of another HdM would be a fitting post for the inaugural month of Cigar Saloon. After all, the HdM has been the raging debate of August. I smoked the HdT paired with an ice cold Shiner Bock on a hot and slightly muggy tropical afternoon this weekend. I had the HdT Toro. It is square or boxed shaped.

Overall, the HdT is a better cigar than the controversial HdM O3. Basically, the HdT has all the good qualities of the O3 (smooth smoke, great puffs, even burn) plus the added benefit of more taste ....it is robust and definitely more complex. Another HdT positive is that it is a slower burn. The stick will last for the duration of 12-15 songs for those of you who enjoy kicking back and listening to tunes when smoking. However, the cigar did get a bit hot toward the end. I still need to re-review the O3 accompanied by an espresso.

http://www.cigar.com/cigars/viewcigar.asp?brand=563

CS Rating: 3.5

El Alcalde

Kinky Friedman says...

'Obama has done for the economy what panty hose did to foreplay'

(a few minutes ago on Fox News with a cigar in hand that was NOT a Texas Jewboy)

El Alcalde

Aesthetic Review of The Infamous 'Hoyo De Monterrey'

At first glance, the 'Hoyo De Monterrey' looks exactly like a cigar.

Upon further inspection (a thorough sniffing), I concluded that this fine piece of what the kids these days call "tabacco" smells just like, and confusingly so, the similarly-worded plant "tobacco".

At second glance, it just looks like a fancy dog turd with a label on it.

-- Whammer

In Search of ... Montecristo La Habana Por Delacroix

Need help from my Cigar Saloon brethren. I smoked one of these about a year ago and kept the tube that depicts El Morro and street scenes from La Habana Vieja. If my memory and olfactory senses serve me well, this could be a CS 5 smoke, one that Rudyard Kipling would write about. The tube says that the cigar is Hand Made in the Dominican Republic and there is a signature of Michael Delacroix on the tube as well. Perhaps he was the artist. A few months ago I unsuccessfully tried to order some more. One internet retailer said he doesn't think they make them any longer. The cigar is churchill length.

El Alcalde

More on Hoyo de Monterrey Excalibur - Prensado Oscuro III

Danno's review was spot on for the first half of the HdM O3. The cigar was bland and it was difficult to decipher its taste. A bit insipid. But patience paid off because I found myself enjoying it increasingly more as the smoke wore on. Diamond E may have been in the perfect frame of mind to enjoy the O3 and consequently gave it a CS 5. The cigar is good and I see how it would pair well with an espresso at five in the afternoon. But it is not a 5. And it is certainly not a 1.5. I did purchase two so will re-rate once I try with an espresso. The cigar did burn well, and was very puffable.

CS Rating: 3

El Alcalde

COUNTER REVIEW Hoyo de Monterrey Excalibur - Prensado Oscuro #3

Upon reading the Diamond E review of the Hoyo de Monterrey Excalibur I decided to pick one up and see what I have been missing.

Evidently, not much.

It is very mild, with only the slightest sweet flavor. And when I say slight, I mean it. Occasionally I would puff on the cigar and question whether there was anything to taste.

I have a natural bias to full bodied cigars so my review of mild cigars is somewhat skewed, but even for a mild cigar I found it lacking. The flavor was not complex, and for whatever reason it seemed to be without a that succulent tabacco taste I do enjoy so much. If you like a mild smoke, I think there are better to be had elsewhere.

I would like to note though, that cigar did have a perfect burn and seemed to always be producing smoke, which is pretty cool actually. Looks totally bad ass.

COUNTER REVIEW CS Rating: 1.5

Danno

Ever Had a Kinky Cigar?

Don't worry, Cigar Saloon is not drifting to R-rated mode, not just yet anyways. The question is a serious one -- have you ever tried a Kinky cigar? As in Kinky Friedman, the erstwhile musician and songwriter from the 1970s. His band, Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys, hit it big with sentimental ballads such as "Asshole from El Paso" and heart-rendering gospel such as "They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore". And let's not forget the tender and romantic "Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and your Buns in Bed".

Kinky, with wit and quips that evoke the spirit of Mark Twain and Will Rogers, is almost always seen with a cigar. Kinky and cigar were in full display in 2006 when he ran for Governor of Texas as an Independent. So when I saw that he had a line of cigars, I immediately ordered a box of the Texas Jewboy Maduro Torpedo (6 in x 56 ring gauge). The box of 20 cost me $120 in January, now they are selling for $158.

The filler is Honduran and Nicaraguan; the binder is Costa Rican; and the wrapper is Honduran. I ordered through an internet retailer and it took me forever to get the cigars, at least two months. The cigar merchant blamed the "fucking Texans" for the delay and my anticipation to try a Jewboy only rose with each broken delivery date promise.

Upon opening the package I couldn't help but notice how impressive the box looks, with all the Texas bullshit stuff and the Star of David and Texas Jewboy etched on the side of the deep reddish/orange box. The cigar label is equally cool. It's a double label and I didn't know if I should smoke the damn thing or just admire the label. I smoked it.

The cigar totally sucks! The taste is awful. Let's see, how to describe? It tastes like you are smoking a cigar that was lit and half-smoked the day before and then crushed into an ashtray. This emetic posing as a cigar lets out a taste that one can only associate with a hint of vomit-coated leather and a sprinkling of stale coffee that has been laying on the bottom of a trash can at LaGuardia airport at the end of Labor Day weekend. The taste of the cigar was actually leagues better than the horrible, sloppy construction of the stick. It is an unmitigated disaster of a cigar. I think I have 8 or so Texas Jewboys still sitting in my humidor. I smoked one last night hoping that by some miracle it would be less offensive. No way, it was a piece of shit. I guess we are R-rated after all. Who gives a shit?

CS Rating: 1 (and I'm being generous)

Box and Label: 5

El Alcalde

Padilla 1948 - Edicion Limitada

This is an impressive smoke. It is a well constructed cigar. A bit tart and sweet. Burns great. Takes about 30 minutes to smoke. Pairs well with a coffee drink.

CS Rating: 4

El Alcalde

Windbag Warren

Warren Buffet, a bonafide billionaire (and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that) clamors for higher taxes on the rich as part of the solution to remedy our federal government's debt and deficit madness. Parroting fiscal maven Obama, he proclaims it as "a matter of fairness" that Mr Buffet's secretary should not pay a higher tax rate than he himself does. Here are some casual thoughts on the subject:

1. How much income does Buffet's secretary earn? Maybe he/she is among the targeted Obama filthy rich, and earns the ghastly amount of $200,000 or more (assume not married). If so, why take pity on a villainous millionaire?
2. Hey, here's an idea -- fix the heretical injustice by lowering Buffet's secretary tax rate rather than raising Warren's. Relieve the mendicant secretary and not punish the windbag.
3. Why aren't we told the name of this mythical secretary? Let's just out the person once and for all.
4. Windbag Warren is already a billionaire. Increasing tax rates on those that earn more than $200,000 but haven't quite amassed the billions that Warren has will simply make it harder for the billionaire wannabes to become billionaires. Therefore protecting Warren from billionaire intruders. How convenient.
5. The windbag is always free to volunteer to pay more taxes himself. Just write the check Warren. As Milton Friedman said - you are free to choose.

CS Rating for WB: 2

El Alcalde

La Libertad and Gurkha Viper

I recently smoked these two cigars and:

Libertad - This one was purchased on a whim, each time I go to a cigar shop I pick up a cigar, and the shop seemed relatively expensive, but this cigar was rather inexpensive. It tasted fine and would have given it a CS rating of 2, but the cigar began to unraveling and burned unevenly so the inexpensive cigar turned out to be a cheap one also. The name rocks but had to give it a CS Score = 1.5

Gurkha Viper, I was giving this one a second chnace, the cigar is well constructed, but just don't care for the taste, not peppery, but just don't like it. My CS Score is a 1.

I would not buy either cigar, then wondered if I would smoke it if it were given to me for free and thought that I would rather enjoy the company with a Diet Coke.

Diamond E

Gurkha Ninja - Maduro

Gents, if you are in the mood for a good, robust, satisfying SMOKE, then partake of a Gurkha Ninja. I capitalized "smoke" because that is the best way to describe this cigar's experience. From the moment you light it and take the first puff, the stick smokes. The puffs are full clouds of smoke and when not puffing the baby just ... well... it just smokes. The wrapper is oily and the drag is even. Caution, the Ninja is not for wimps.

CS Rating: 4

El Alcalde

Hail to Santiago Cabana

Last night I was able to totally chill thanks to a Cabana torpedo with natural wrapper. The Cabana is made by Santiago Cabana, a legendary Habana Master. Cabana was largely responsible for the start of the cigar renaissance/craze of the 1990s as he, as a Cuban exile, was able to beat the Cuban cigar makers at their own game. In January 2000 SMOKE Magazine rated 57 different Maduro cigars and Cabana's EL ORIGINAL got the highest rating, better than the Cubans. Santiago is doing well and is a helluva guy also. I do customize my Cabanas by putting my own designed label on them. The one I smoked last night is what I call The Princess. A glass of Zacapa rum was the perfect pairing. Total chill.

CS Rating: 4

El Alcalde

Hoyo de Monterrey Excalibur - Prensado Oscuro #3

My First Cigar Posting:

Let me introduce myself as it pertains to cigars.

I do not have a sophisticated pallet, I don't really care what the wrapper looks like where the binder came from, how long the ash stays on the stick or for that matter where the tobacco seeds originate.

What I do care about, is being able to enjoy/relax with a good smoke, enjoy the company or the enviroment without working the cigar. One can easliy be drawn to all the nuissances regarding cigars and that can be fun to learn, but at the end of the smoke one has to ask oneself "Would I buy a box of these?"

I tried the subject matter for the first time last night and need to give it a rating of 5 - World Class (especially for its price range of $5-$8). See Cigar Ratings on top right.

It was consitently smooth the entire length, kept its great flavor, it was not peppery, it burned evenly, easy drag, burned at a nice pace and I did not have to re-light it. It just tasted good and did not make me work.

What else can I ask of a cigar?

Thanks for joining us at the Cigar Saloon and hope to hear from you,

Diamond E

THESE 5 CIGAR LABELS ARE DEAD ENDS!

Open a cigar magazine, any cigar magazine, and you don't find a single truly negative review of any cigar. Maybe these guys have been fortunate in life and never smoked a bummer, but the little cynic in my head whispers that it's probably has something to do with their advertising income.

And then there is their purported "blind" testing of cigars. Can these experts really not tell the difference between a Padron and a Cohiba without the label? Come on, now! Maybe they think we're blind! After percolating on all this over a Padilla Miami, I came to the realization that what this country really needs is a cigar blog that tells the truth. Let the chips fall where they may!

More so, cigar smokers needed to unite to get the word out on the most overrated cigars and protect ourselves from glorified ropes. Here is my list. If you have a cigar you want to add, please let me know. I'll take one for the team, buy it, and write about it. If you disagree, please let me know that too, because we want to be fair to everyone. So here goes:

5. Rocky Patel. Oh if the cigars were only as good as the hype, what a wonderful world it would be! Sadly, they're not. Sure, there are some very good Rocks out there, particularly the ones made by Abdel "AJ" Fernandez, but for the most part they are disappointing and overpriced. Instead, save yourself a little money and check out Fernbandez' Man O' War line. You'll never look back.

4. Zino. Who buys these cigars anyway? Overrated and seriously overpriced, do yourself a favor and pass on these stogies if your tobacconist has any cigar not on this list. However, if you have a choice, pick up a Padilla 1932, Miami, Hybrid, 0r 1948 instead.

3. Hoyo de Monterrey. This one's controversial, but the emperor has no clothes. There, I said it. Sure, there some terrific HdMs, but they're not worth the price and most of the line is solidly mediocre. If you love ropes that taste like mush, by all means run to your tobacconist and buy one of these losers. Me, I'll pay $5 bucks for a Gran Habano Vintage 2002, Padilla 1948, or a Man O' War instead and enjoy them until my fingers burn. If Dominican cigars are your thing, then check out the terrific Pinar Del Rio line, which cost far less than the HdMs and are guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

2. Graycliff. This brand is Exhibit A to why hotel vanity labels should only be sold to inebriated tourists wearing Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts staying at your hotel and never leave the premises. If you've ever paid full retail price for one of these losers, you know exactly what I mean. They say these are blended by a Cuban guy, apparently to make them credible. But for my money, I'll take any of the cigars made by another Cuban guy named Pepin Garcia instead.

1. Habanos. Yes, this includes all of the caca that's coming out of Cuba now. Sure, people who don't know any better want them because it's the "forbidden fruit." Some of you have been lucky and purchased cheap counterfeits which are actually made in the Dominican Republic and smoke better than the "real" Cubans. The reality is that Commie cigars are generally mediocre, inconsistent, and way overpriced, so don't bother(picture postal workers making your $30 cigars). I say let the Europeans buy 'em up so that we can keep the good stuff to ourselves! If you want a smooth smoke in the real Cuban tradition, pick up a San Lotano Connecticut, Man O' War Virtue, Padilla Hybrid, or PDR Clasico. If a full flavored fix is what you need then try a macho Camacho, San Lotano Oval, or even a cheap Padron Churchill Maduro. And if you still want a terrific expensive cigar that makes a statement, just light up any Padilla 1932, Gran Habano Cabinet Selection, PDR Oscuro, or Padron Maduro anniversary stick. Everyone will know that you've arrived!--Mamey

Cigar Pansy with Padron 1926 Aniversario

Check this manly man out at 5 minutes and then at 7 minutes.

El Alcalde

The Titan Chronos approached me and offered me a cigarette.

I punched him in the face.

"Give me a Camacho Corojo Churchill Maduro, please"

- Whammer

Top 10 Book Openers

I am qualified to make this list because I have read the first line of EVERY book that has been written. Really I have.

El Alcalde

10. If I am out of my mind, it's all right with me, thought Herzog. -- Saul Bellow, Herzog

9. He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty- four days now without taking a fish. -- Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and The Sea.

8. Man is born free; and everywhere he is in chains. -- Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract.

7. " Who is John Galt?" -- Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

6. Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. -- Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

5. Everything is good as it leaves the hands of the Author of things; everything degenerates in the hands of man. -- Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile

4. It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. -- George Orwell, 1984

3. Call me Ishmael -- Herman Melville, Moby Dick

2. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. -- Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.

1. I have long believed that any man interested in either the mystic or the romantic aspects of life must sooner or later define his attitude concerning Spain. -- James A. Michener, Iberia

THE PADILLA 1932 SIGNATURE IS A SILENT ASSASSIN!

PADILLA 1932 SIGNATURE. This is quite possibly the most underrated cigar in the world. The 1932 is the creation of Ernesto Padilla, who comes from a Pinar Del Rio tobacco family and is the son of noted poets Belkis Cuza Male and Heberto Padilla. After Jose Marti, Heberto Padilla, is Cuba's most famous poet. Born in 1932, the elder Padilla lived in New York, returned to Cuba to support the revolution, and served various posts under Castro, only to be jailed and tortured for his writings. Ernesto creates terrific cigars instead of poetry and dedicated the 1932 to his famous father. It is a Nicaraguan puro which has a sweet, creamy, and full-bodied flavor reminiscent of the pre-1959 Cuban cigars, the best in the world. It's not as macho as the Camacho(menos mal!) and the draw and burn are perfect. The smoke is effortless and aromatic. The 1932 is preferable to the wonderful Padron anniversary line because the wrapper is beautiful and round and smooth. It's also smoother without compromising taste. The draw between the two is, well, a draw. Undoubtedly, the Padilla 1932 is an all-world five label cigar. Mamey

Welcome to Cigar Saloon; just belly up, puff, and spill it

This is the new playground for Mamey, Diamond E, Danno The Oil Baron, Whammer, El Alcalde and any other Saloon member.