THESE 5 CIGAR LABELS ARE DEAD ENDS!

Open a cigar magazine, any cigar magazine, and you don't find a single truly negative review of any cigar. Maybe these guys have been fortunate in life and never smoked a bummer, but the little cynic in my head whispers that it's probably has something to do with their advertising income.

And then there is their purported "blind" testing of cigars. Can these experts really not tell the difference between a Padron and a Cohiba without the label? Come on, now! Maybe they think we're blind! After percolating on all this over a Padilla Miami, I came to the realization that what this country really needs is a cigar blog that tells the truth. Let the chips fall where they may!

More so, cigar smokers needed to unite to get the word out on the most overrated cigars and protect ourselves from glorified ropes. Here is my list. If you have a cigar you want to add, please let me know. I'll take one for the team, buy it, and write about it. If you disagree, please let me know that too, because we want to be fair to everyone. So here goes:

5. Rocky Patel. Oh if the cigars were only as good as the hype, what a wonderful world it would be! Sadly, they're not. Sure, there are some very good Rocks out there, particularly the ones made by Abdel "AJ" Fernandez, but for the most part they are disappointing and overpriced. Instead, save yourself a little money and check out Fernbandez' Man O' War line. You'll never look back.

4. Zino. Who buys these cigars anyway? Overrated and seriously overpriced, do yourself a favor and pass on these stogies if your tobacconist has any cigar not on this list. However, if you have a choice, pick up a Padilla 1932, Miami, Hybrid, 0r 1948 instead.

3. Hoyo de Monterrey. This one's controversial, but the emperor has no clothes. There, I said it. Sure, there some terrific HdMs, but they're not worth the price and most of the line is solidly mediocre. If you love ropes that taste like mush, by all means run to your tobacconist and buy one of these losers. Me, I'll pay $5 bucks for a Gran Habano Vintage 2002, Padilla 1948, or a Man O' War instead and enjoy them until my fingers burn. If Dominican cigars are your thing, then check out the terrific Pinar Del Rio line, which cost far less than the HdMs and are guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

2. Graycliff. This brand is Exhibit A to why hotel vanity labels should only be sold to inebriated tourists wearing Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts staying at your hotel and never leave the premises. If you've ever paid full retail price for one of these losers, you know exactly what I mean. They say these are blended by a Cuban guy, apparently to make them credible. But for my money, I'll take any of the cigars made by another Cuban guy named Pepin Garcia instead.

1. Habanos. Yes, this includes all of the caca that's coming out of Cuba now. Sure, people who don't know any better want them because it's the "forbidden fruit." Some of you have been lucky and purchased cheap counterfeits which are actually made in the Dominican Republic and smoke better than the "real" Cubans. The reality is that Commie cigars are generally mediocre, inconsistent, and way overpriced, so don't bother(picture postal workers making your $30 cigars). I say let the Europeans buy 'em up so that we can keep the good stuff to ourselves! If you want a smooth smoke in the real Cuban tradition, pick up a San Lotano Connecticut, Man O' War Virtue, Padilla Hybrid, or PDR Clasico. If a full flavored fix is what you need then try a macho Camacho, San Lotano Oval, or even a cheap Padron Churchill Maduro. And if you still want a terrific expensive cigar that makes a statement, just light up any Padilla 1932, Gran Habano Cabinet Selection, PDR Oscuro, or Padron Maduro anniversary stick. Everyone will know that you've arrived!--Mamey